Maintain your composure. Here’s how . . .
- Know your buttons. Don’t react when they are pressed.
- Prepare emotionally when dealing with people who you find particularly annoying.
- Stop making everything about you — it absolutely positively is not.
- Stay present in the moment — everything passes.
- Remind yourself before you start any negotiation, feedback session, performance review, performance results review of what your “end in mind is.” This awareness helps prevent just “reacting without thinking.”
- Stop being defensive — not defensive? Ask around to make sure.
- Remind yourself daily how you react to those who lose it — to leaders who seem to blame others, lose their cool, carry on as if the world was coming to an end — don’t do likewise. Stay cool.
Be modest. Try this . . .
- Don’t brag!
- Ever know someone who really did something amazing and said nothing about it — only to learn after they’re gone what they did? What did you think of that person? Likely a lot. Kind of inspiring — right?
- That’s the power of not bragging about your accomplishments!
- It can actually be very powerful especially when others know you’ve accomplished something great and you’ve said nothing or very little about it
- Accept compliments with grace.
- Modest people must also be authentic when it comes to acting with modesty.
- No it’s not a play on words. Here’s the point. If you’re acting in a way that’s not authentic — trying to be modest because you think it’ll win you favor with someone else, or because you’re reading this now and think that’s the way you’re supposed to act, then it wont’ work. People will see through you and you’re other ways of interacting will likely “slip through” and be disclosed
- If you desire to be modest, learn to be comfortable with yourself as you evolve and become more modest. Remember — if modesty doesn’t come naturally that even with the best of intentions it will be an evolution.
- Be comfortable “in your own skin.”
- Don’t spend excessive amounts of time comparing yourself to others and degrading or minimizing yourself when you feel others exceed your abilities to perform or the results you are able to produce.
- Be positive and confident and know that you always have opportunities to change and improve the way you act and behave.
- Develop a deep understanding of who you are. Know what you stand for and what you “oppose.” Know why you feel these ways. Be comfortable with your beliefs but always open to new concepts and ideas.
Be fair minded. Here’s an approach . . .
- Learn to encourage open debate.
- Let people know disagreement is welcomed and should not be avoided, and help them to look at issues and opinions from multiple viewpoints.
- Encourage diverse points of view and be open to different perspectives.
- Be ethical and intellectually honest.
- When you act in these ways your intent is never to exploit or harm other but rather to seek the truth in balanced, honest, and fair ways in order to solve problems or create the best solutions.
- Also be mindful that when you act in these ways your intent is not to win but to really WIN because the result has been achieved in an open, honest and unbiased way.
- Be empathetic even as you advocate.
- Empathetic advocates listen — actively listen — to others as they express their points of view and develop their arguments.
- Those who are empathetic also discuss, argue, and debate as a way to discover the truth — not bury it