Confidence is still more of a problem for women than men in the workplace. A good choice of reading on the subject is the new book by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay The Confidence Code. That said, everyone does better when they handle challenges with confidence. Here’s a quick review of common mistakes along with some positive actions you can take to avoid them.
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Mistake 1: Thinking too much.
Better approach: Before beginning any analysis, consider what is an appropriate amount of time, energy, and effort given the value of any given decision or action based on that analysis. Then, perform your “due diligence” and take action decisively without “going back” over the same material.
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Mistake 2: Believing that failure is a failure.
Better approach: Do take responsibility for failures. If you set out to sell X and you sold X-Y own that. But here is the key part –consider this “failure” as many in a series of steps toward success. Consider each “failure” as helpful feedback on what not to do — or what you can do differently or better. Smart people see success as iterative. They do not treat failures as anything more than opportunities to learn, grow, and improve.
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Mistake 3: Carrying criticism around.
Better approach: Let it go. Take criticism as valuable feedback and move on. Everyone is busy and moving forward, don’t drag yourself back with rehashing situations and “feeling badly” about what was in essence a one time event. Here’s the motto we love — Don’t look back — you’re not going that way!
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Mistake 4: Staying in your comfort zone.
Better approach: Push your boundaries professionally. Eliminate pre-conceived absolutes about what you will and will not do. If the work you are doing on a project feels like “old home week” you know you are not being bold enough. Someone else is going to be.
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Mistake 5: Not speaking up or using “up speak.”
Better approach: If you are more introverted consider points you want to make prior to attending meetings. If extroverted, also do prep before hand and consider how best to make your points tightly and with sufficient emphasis — but not so much that it becomes annoying or distracting. Do not make your statements sound like question thereby making your opinions sound less clear and more tentative.
Additional Insights . . .
- The Confidence Code — By Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
Reading The Confidence Code might be well worth the time if there is any doubt you are not as confident as you need to be. The website for the book has a confidence quiz that’s very effective and provides targeted feedback. If not for you, it may be a super idea for a colleague or member of your team
- Workplace Confidence — A Blog by Michelle Kerrigan
Michelle Kerrigan has a great blog filled with advice and inspiration on how to be more confident at work. This is a wonderful source of support for men as well as women. There are multiple sources and clear direction and about dealing with all types of confidence related issues in the workplace. There’s something for everyone on this Blog!